When the Portal Looks Better Than the Process: Choosing Legacy Over Looks
I used to dream of meeting my husband at Morehouse College (me at Texas Southern University ).
I had a vision: homecomings, matching degrees, Black excellence in every frame.
We’d be “that couple”—the kind that turns heads and gets reposted on alumni pages.
So when life unfolded differently, I struggled.
Not because I didn’t have love—
but because it didn’t look like the image I had built in my mind.
That same ache I’ve carried in my personal story…
I’m now seeing in the hearts of athletes all around me—
especially those navigating NIL and the transfer portal.
The Allure of the Portal
In today’s game, the portal is more than a tool—it’s a temptation.
And when NIL deals, social media clout, and spotlight culture collide, it’s easy to believe:
“If I just switch teams, cities, or coaches… it’ll all come together.”
But here’s the hard truth:
Sometimes we don’t need a new program.
We need a new perspective.
He’s Not What I Pictured—But He’s Everything I Prayed For
Let me tell you about my husband, Marcus.
He’s not the man I imagined I'd end up with back when I was dreaming in dorm rooms and building Pinterest boards (or at the time, MySpace days...)
He’s not the guy in the tailored suit who gives speeches at conferences.
Marcus is better.
He is a prayer warrior.
He’s solid & steady.
He’s kind in ways that heal me, not just impress me.
He works with his hands—and leads with his heart.
He may not use fancy words all the time, but his actions speak volumes.
He shows up. Loves so well. And quietly reminds me that God gives what we need—not always what we scripted.
And the same might be true for your current team, your coach, or your season.
You may not have the followers, the deals, or the narrative you imagined.
But maybe… just maybe… you’re right where your character is being developed.
Don’t Confuse Discomfort With Misalignment
Before you enter the portal—or walk away from a season—ask:
Am I leaving because I’m being stifled, or because I’m not being seen the way I hoped?
Am I chasing a highlight or building something holy?
Is God telling me to go… or grow?
Not every transfer is disobedient.
But not every dream detour means you missed it.
Sometimes, God places you in the unexpected space to build what the spotlight could never give you: roots.
Love. Legacy. And Letting God Lead
Marcus has taught me that love isn’t always loud.
That legacy doesn’t always wear a microphone.
That being chosen by someone who is present, patient, and purposed is a gift that doesn’t need approval to be powerful.
And maybe your team, your coach, your “now” is giving you exactly that.
It just doesn’t sparkle—yet.
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A Prayer for the Athlete (and the Dreamer)
God, I’ve imagined so many versions of how life was supposed to go. But I surrender the image for the deeper assignment. Teach me to see the blessing in front of me. Help me not to leave a place where You’ve planted me to grow. And if it’s time to move, give me peace—not just pressure. I want to live a life that honors You more than it pleases the crowd.
Amen.
___
Remember: NIL might elevate your name…
But faithfulness will elevate your life.
Stay if it’s growing you. Go if God is moving you.
But let your decision be guided by calling—not comparison.
And never forget: some of the strongest love stories…
Some of the greatest athletes…
Some of the most powerful legacies…
Don’t come in flashy packaging—
They’re built in quiet, consistent faithfulness.
You are loved!
KH